


In one's own image

by Bananas45



Category: B: The Beginning (Anime)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Descent into Madness, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 20:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14386188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananas45/pseuds/Bananas45
Summary: He should teach Minatsuki the difference between making and designing.Laica's fear ruins everything but somehow saves it too. Together, they try and carve themselves out of the mess that's been created.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a hot mess. I wrote it all in one night, 7pm to about 4.30am? It's probably riddled with mistakes.  
> i felt oddly angry at Laica so I wanted him to suffer...wrote him suffering then felt really bad so tried to make it all better in the second half. Hence, the really sudden and jarring tonal shift. It's also sort of a sequel to my other fic? at least it's events cause these ones...that makes it a sequel I think. I don't know. Why am I still typing?
> 
> This is honestly so rough. It was just something I needed to get out. 
> 
> Minatsuki drinks a huge amount in this. 
> 
> I've also tagged it really badly...

It’s been 3 weeks and Laica can’t get the smell of Minatsuki of his skin. It’s been almost a month and he still feels a tingle on his lips whenever Minatsuki smiles. It’s been 21 days and Laica can’t bring himself to hold a full conversation in Minatsuki’s presence. They’ve become sloppy recently, like Minatsuki can sense there is something wrong even if he doesn’t know what. Usually Laica would rally them and take Minatsuki aside to tell him his short falls but he can’t anymore. It takes Izanami, finding him in the empty bar of the actually very nice hotel they’d been put up in before a hit on an assemblyman. Laica guessed you have to pay out better when it’s one of your own.   
“There is something wrong with Minatsuki” Izanami says. Laica doesn’t look up from the blueprint Minatsuki asked him to look over and Izanami sighs. “I don’t know why you’ve been ignoring him but whatever you’ve done-”   
“I didn’t do anything” Laica interrupts a smidgen too aggressively. She juts her lip out in a facsimile of shock. “Besides, I’d know if there was something wrong with him” He circles all the fire exists.   
She laughs, airy and sardonic. “You don’t know the first thing about him, Laica. He could lose an arm and you would take a week to notice”   
He almost wants to punch her, she sounds so self assured. Like she knows anything about their relationship. He almost wants to grab her and shout into her smug little face ‘I fucked him’   
“I’m busy here” He says as way of dismissal.   
“Talk to him” She says, softer now.   
“There is nothing to talk about” He snaps, looking up to meet her eyes.   
“He was drinking” She says, the notes of her voice make it sound like she’s telling on him.   
“He’s always drinking”   
She huffs and sits down beside him, back straight and eyes serious.   
“I saw his nose bleeding”   
That is mildly concerning. It gets his attention and he puts the pen down.   
“There would be other signs if he wasn’t taken his dose” Laica says. “He couldn’t hide them”   
“This is Minatsuki. He can hide anything and if he’s upset about something-”   
“Fucks sake” Laica gets up. Izanami lies on the spot he left.   
“Just check on him. Just a check up” She puts her hands behind her head. “And if he’s dead then I told you so”   
Dead. The thought makes Laica pale a little.

Minatsuki is in his room, or so Izanami says, so he heads up to force a vial down his throat or something. He can leave before they have to actually talk. This is all still completely under his control.   
‘Minatsuki’ whispered so softly right into his ear. Laica twitches a little as he knocks.   
Minatuski let’s him in without saying anything but Izanami was right. Laica can see it now, how red his eyes are and how twitchy he is. Must have been a few days, maybe more. Fuck. How had he not noticed?   
“I think you know why I’m here” Laica says, surprisingly awkward. He hopes it comes of tetchy.   
“Because you saw my mini-bar bill?” Minatsuki asks, it would be light and soft if he didn’t sound so rough, like recordings of people who have been possessed. Laica wants to laugh but he can’t, he’s too worried.   
“You’re in good spirits all things considered” Laica strides forward as he fill the syringe and Minatuski stands back.   
“No” He snarls, balancing himself against the wall with a half empty tumblr in his hand, poised between his thumb and middle finger he points at Laica with the index. “Stay the fuck away from me”   
It’s so sudden, so out of the blue and so genuine that Laica is caught of guard.   
“What’s gotten into you?” He asks harshly. His frustration is immeasurable and just looking at Minatsuki, back here again, hair wild and eyes wilder and trembling and drooling like a fucking madman, makes Laica sick, a clawing feeling that trails up his throat and makes him want to scream.   
“You know how this feels?” Minatsuki is panting and has to shake his head every few seconds like he’s trying not to be sick. “It’s hell. It’s fucking hell but hell is a pretty-” His eye twitches “reflective place”   
Laica doesn’t like where this is going and he spreads both his arms and backs off a little. “Minatsuki-”   
“Don’t fucking call me that” He practically shrieks and it’s so out of character, so clawingly unlike the Minatsuki that Laica knows - that Laica made - that his heart splinters just a little. He wants to feel cold, aloof, instead he feels just as mad as Minatsuki, like it’s rubbing off on him. He stumbles back towards the door a little.   
“You’re going to die” He hisses as Minatsuki falls forward. There is a good 2 metres between them that makes Laica feel a little safer- fuck, since when was he afraid of the mess in front of him.   
As if on cue, to prove his point, Minatsuki’s nose begins to bleed almost uncontrollable. He watches as Minatsuki tries to catch it in his palms with a twisted sense of satisfaction. He almost says I told you so. It spills over the sides of his hands and onto the rug.   
“I-I-It’s s-s-s-so fucking clear now” He laughs, a wheeze that doesn’t stop. Blood on his perfect white teeth. “What did you do to me? I can’t of dreamt it -I can’t have- It was so real”   
Laica’s blood runs cold. Off course. On the precipice of sanity, tipped to fall, it makes sense you’d remember everything. Laica doesn’t know what to do. He can’t save him now. He’s been so stupidly selfish, taking everything he wanted and now look at the consequences. God knows what else Minatsuki will start remembering. He drops to his knees beside him. He’s ruined him, like a kid with his favourite toys.  
Minatsuki looks up, trying in vain to wipe the blood off his face only to spread it further.   
“I feel- I feel” Minatsuki tries, blinking tears out his eyes. “I-” His voice catches, drops to a whisper. “I dreamt of it, of what you did to me, the feel of your skin against mine”   
Laica listens to the cry of agony Minatsuki gives and whispers desperately “So did I- so did I-”   
Minatsuki gapes like a fish, finding it hard to breath, he clenches his jaw shut. Laica holds the syringe to his neck. He’s going to kill himself if this continues. The needle pierces the skin.  
“Don’t” Minatsuki says, grabbing his wrist. “Tell me the truth. Tell me what happened”   
Laica finds it hard to breath himself and someone makes a choked sobbing noise, like they’ve held it back or years- Oh fuck it’s not Minatsuki. He can feel tears hot and wet against his cheeks. Why is he crying?   
“Laica!” Minatsuki cries out hysterically, his eyes searching Laica’s for any form of answer.   
“I can’t” His hand is shaking on the syringe, still placed at Minatsuki’s neck.   
“You fucking coward” Minatsuki practically roars, trying to twist Laica’s hand away. He drives his knee into Laica’s chest bone and the shock sends him backwards. Minatsuki straddles his hips, holding his hands above his head.   
“How many times? How much have you changed?! How much of this is me and how much of this is you?!” Minatsuki shouts, blood dripping onto Laica from where he covers them both in a veil of blonde hair. Laica tilts his head to avoid it but it splashes across his cheek.   
Laica can’t answer, he feels like a child, so lost and alone and so fucking scared. He can’t fail here- They can’t fail here- Minatsuki was meant to be by his side. His chest aches with sobs.   
“Answer me!” Minatsuki bellows, blinking as blood begins to well in the corners of his eyes. His grip is weakening on Laica’s wrists. “You said you loved me! Didn’t you?! Didn’t you?!”  
Laica cries, it’s a whine almost, pleading and child-like “You’re dying!”   
“Then let me die, Minatsuki” He chokes out. He falls back on his knees, hair covering his face and hands limp by his sides. “Please let me die”   
Laica considers it, even through the haze of emotions, he thinks that maybe he should grant Minatsuki this but the thought alone, of being here, doing this without him suddenly feels overwhelming.   
“I love you” Minsatsuki mumbles. “It’s all I’ve thought about, how much I love you...ever since I met you- When did I meet you?” He laughs bitterly “You’ve probably changed that too”   
Laica sits up, sobs heavy and sore in his throat.   
“How many times?”   
Laica knows what he’s asking. How much has he changed. How many times.  
“I can’t count” Laica admits softly. “But I didn’t think-”   
“Didn’t think it mattered after you made me your doll?” Minatsuki snarls before burying his eyes in his palms. They drop to his side blood stained and Minatsuki looks shocked by it. Laica crawls forward, holding the syringe tighter in his hand.   
“Did you make me fall in love with you?” Minatsuki asks. He looks grief-stricken.   
Laica feels his whole being grind to a halt. Like someone pulled the brakes on life itself. Had he?  
Forcing Minatsuki to love him is a thing he can’t imagine himself doing but then again he’s never sure how much of himself he’s edited- It’s the problem with altering memories, you lose track. He could have made himself forget. His ears ring. Suddenly nothing feels real.   
Minatsuki looks up when he doesn’t respond, trying to crawl back betrayal written across his feature. Laica cups his cheeks. “Let me make this better-”   
“By taking it away?” Minatsuki smiles ruefully. Laica looks lost for a moment, unsure what to do and Minatsuki puffs out a laugh. Laica kisses him, like that can make this better. It tastes of blood, strong and deep, like Minatsuki is falling apart from the inside out. He doesn’t kiss back but his breath comes out shakier.   
“I can’t lose you” Laica says, wiping blood and strands of blonde of Minatsuki’s face. It’s almost a whisper. Minatsuki is swaying and fevered and Laica can’t bare to think what will happen next. His tummy clenches painfully.   
“Yes you can” Minatsuki says, a hiccuped little sob that’s cut off by a trickle of blood down his nose. “You don’t even know me”   
“You don’t even know you!” Laica shrieks. The weight of it hits them both and Laica lets his jaw drop, unsure of what to say next. He tilts Minatsuki’s head up and Minatsuki tries to push him of with blood soaked hands.   
“Look at me” Laica says, voice calm again. He is going to do this, like how he did 3 weeks ago, just like he did all those years ago, fingers blue with the cold and breath puffed out in clouds as the child glanced frantically between soldiers and his classmate. It’s Minatsuki’s turn to fall apart.   
“Don’t do this” Minatsuki begs, bloodied and dying. He can barely stay kneeling. Laica just clenches his jaw. “Please!” It’s sobbed, tears and blood intermingled as they stream down his face. “Minatsuki Please!”   
Laica flinches at that, said so desperately.   
‘Minatsuki please!’ Just a terrified little boy, begging for his life. The look in those pretty blue eyes. That reserved trust because friends don’t hurt each other right?   
“If you loved me at all you wouldn’t do this!” Minatsuki screeches, hands curling Laica’s shirt, he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.   
“I’m doing this because I love you” Laica murmurs but it doesn’t sit well in him. The light from the blue in his eye makes Minatsuki look deathly pale. It plays across his face like light hitting water.   
He goes bone limp afterwards, tired of fighting and Laica holds him, both arms wrapped around the boy. Minatsuki is so still it’s like he’s holding a corpse. He sobs into the blonde strands and for the first time that he knows off, regrets what they’re doing.  
Laica walks away to the bathroom to dry his eyes and straighten his shirt. He clears his throat and looks at himself. The guilt is almost unbearable, it weighs down on him like he’s being crushed and the grip he has on the sink breaks the china. Looking up he stares at himself, hand trailing under his eye across his lid, the limp strands of hair that are covering his face, the second hand blood all over him. What would be the harm in forgetting this too? It’s not fair that he has to carry this when Minatsuki just gets to go on, blissfully unaware of the fact he was close to death in Laica’s arms. 

It’s not fair.


	2. Reverse and re-play

Minatsuki is in his room, or so Izanami says, so he heads up to force a vial down his throat or something. He can leave before they have to actually talk. This is all still completely under his control.  
He doesn’t expect to find Minatsuki passed out in his own blood and the shock of it almost floors Laica. There is a syringe close by and with slightly shaken hands, Laica slides it into the vein in Minatsuki’s arm and waits patiently. He thinks of Minatsuki in his arms 3 weeks ago all soft and doe eyed and shakes him a little in a desperate attempt to make sure he’s not dead.  
Minatsuki’s eyes flutter open like some fairy tale character and he groans.  
“I swear on my life I didn’t drink that much” He says, his smile cracks the blood on his nose and lips and Laica almost collapses with relief. He doesn’t, he sits Minatsuki up and gets him some water in silence. Fucks sake.  
“Are you angry with me?” It’s somewhere between genuine concern and sarcasm.  
Yes, yes he is.  
“I’m...” Laica rubs his temples. He has an oddly intense headache. “I just feel like we’re here a lot. You not doing what I ask and hurting yourself”  
Minatsuki laughs sheepishly and points at the syringe. “I was trying!”  
Laica cocks an eyebrow and he sighs “You’ll just roll your eyes if I tell you why I do it”  
“Humour me” Laica says, opening the mini bar only to find it empty. He goes through Minatsuki’s suitcase and gets him a fresh shirt that isn’t covered in blood. He notices he does this a lot, micromanages Minatsuki when his own nerves are fried.  
“Sometimes I feel like there is a little itch, something I can’t quite grasp” Minatsuki hauls himself to his feet and throws off his shirt, heading to the bathroom, he whistles “Christ my nose.” Laica can’t help but smile a little. “Anyway, it’s like whenever i’m close to needing a dose I feel sharper, things start to come back to me. It’s silly because I feel perfect right now...but I get so curious”  
It’s so candid. Nothing like the half-assed excuses he gets from Kamui when this happens to him, the macabre descriptions of the desire to hurt things. Curiosity is so polite.  
“Too curious” Laica says, throwing the shirt at him as he comes out. Minatsuki catches it.  
“Precisely” He puts it on, doing up half the buttons and pulls his hair out from under the collar, letting it fan out across his back. “I feel awful”  
Minatsuki sits on the bed and lies back.  
“You will do for a while” Laica warns. Lingering in the doorway, unsure what to do.  
“That night” Minatsuki says softly. “I was drunk” he pauses and Laica feels a strange sense of deja vu “But you’d tell me if I’d done something stupid?” He looks cautiously hopeful, slightly put on. It’s difficult to read what Minatsuki wants but Laica can’t help himself, the words tumble out before he can stop them, bullet blunt.  
“We fucked.” He says.  
Minatuski closes his eyes, smile ever so slightly smug. “I thought so”  
Laica’s blood runs cold. “How?”  
Minatsuki laughs, warm and heavy. “Because you ignored me and blushed like a girl whenever we made eye contact”  
“I didn’t” Laica huffs.  
“You did” Minatsuki glances at him from where he’s sprawled “You’re blushing now!”  
“Shut up” Laica says with barely pulled back smile. “Forget-” He stops himself, the word is like bile in his throat. “Just, don’t mention it to the others”  
Minatsuki notices the change and his smile becomes sweet “It’s our secret.”  
They fall into a strange silence. Laica snaps his fingers as if to break a spell.  
“Izanami will want me to tell her you’re not dead” He says.  
“Ah, fair enough. I thought someone must have forced you here” The laugh he gives is a little tragic.  
“I would stay but you’ve finished the mini-bar”  
Minatsuki laughs with his mouth closed, more of a sigh with smirk than a proper laugh. Laica watches him decide whether to invite him to stay or not.  
“Izanami. Worry. I don’t want another fire alarm incident.” Laica says as an excuse, moving towards the door. Minatsuki is biting his nail but looks up with a tight smile.  
“Yes that’s true”  
As he gets to the door he stops because Minatsuki almost died. He’d been so blood soaked when Laica found him, breath so shallow. He doesn’t want to leave him alone for a night after that. Not to mention the fact that Laica’s head was spinning with the realisation that he had actually told Minatsuki they’d gotten together. He shouldn’t let this go, it’s a opportune moment for happiness but he does because Minatsuki terrifies him almost as much as intimacy he provides. He lets the door close quietly and turns face to face with Izanami. Her expression oddly glazed.  
“Fucks sake” He says, knocking his head back against the door from the fright she gave him.  
“Go to him” She says, soft and melancholic.  
“Were you listening?” He asks, voice no more than a hiss. He realises how childish it must sound in response to her little show.  
“He needs you” She says and he almost gasps but stifles it behind the set of his jaw. She tilts her head, eyes full of something, it’s almost like pity but softer round the edges. She wraps a strand of hair behind his ear and glances over him. “Enjoy being needed.” She murmurs. With a sharp inhale that odd cheerfulness is back “Enjoy how much he wants you. Think how much you’d regret it if he died tomorrow!” She sings, gently tapping his nose.  
“I won’t let him die tomorrow” Laica says and bats her hand away.  
“You almost let him die today” She snaps. For a moment she sounds angry with him before she shrugs “What do I know”  
“Go to bed. He’ll be angry if you’re tired” It’s such a stupidly redundant thing to say.  
“Kamui went out” She says. “He smelt decrepitude and took full advantage. I don’t think he expects Minatsuki to survive the night”  
It’s a warning. She’s warning him what this stupid crush of his will do if it gets out of hand.  
“He can be pleasantly surprised in the morning then” Laica says mildly.  
“Quite” She smiles, leaning against the wall. “I’ll bid you goodnight” She bows with a smirk and begins to walk away.  
He turns, back to the door and considers her words. Maybe he should stop fighting Minatsuki, they are the same after all. He’d been angry at him the last few weeks, his indecisiveness, his inability to focus, how the others had begun to notice chinks in that perfect armour. He’d never considered he might be the cause but he is and it’s fucking annoying. The door clicks and he turns. Minatuski is there, pulling his hair up, band in his teeth. He frowns.  
“Have you just been standing here?” He asks. Laica feels like a deer in headlights. This isn’t his night.  
“Where are you going?” He counters instead.  
“The bar” Minatsuki says, eyes wide, clearly wanting to ask more.  
“It’s 1am” Laica snaps. Minatsuki raises his eyebrows and pauses, looking confused.  
“Yeah. It doesn’t close till two” He moves forward and Laica puts a hand on his chest.  
“Please” Laica says. “This is worst thing you can do after the mess you were in”  
Minatsuki smirks, just behind his hair. “And who put me in that mess, hm?”  
“I was a contributing factor” Laica admits, it’s as close to an apologise as he’s getting.  
Minatsuki looks disappointed. “Always on the defense” He sighs and Laica bristles.  
“I was thinking” Minatsuki says “We should work closer, you and I” Laica hasn’t dropped his hand from Minatuski’s chest yet and suddenly it feels trapped there.  
“I was just thinking that too” He can’t help but smile.  
“I’m glad we’re on the same page” Minatsuki grins but it drops “I don’t like falling out with you.” He clenches his jaw in embarrassment “I really don’t and I hate how it looks to the other”  
“I agree” Laica says. “What do you suggest we do then?”  
Minatsuki pauses, thumb nail under his top tooth. He points a finger at Laica.  
“Go to the bar together”  
Laica bites his tongue and looks away to hide his smile.  
As they sit together, Minatsuki talking about plans for tomorrow as he gets through a bottle of red in 20 minutes, Laica suddenly feels a twang in his memories, Like when you think you’ve lost your keys, Like there is a whole part of the evening he can’t quite put his finger on. He blames it on the wine but the niggle remains. The more he thinks about it the more he feels how tense his shoulders are and how specific to crying the feeling in his throat is and the headache across his temples. He doesn’t remember crying.  
“Are you okay?” Minatsuki asks, tilting his head.  
“I just feel like I’ve forgotten something” He says, frowning softly and shaking his head.  
“I get that a lot” Minatsuki says and Laica feels a little inch of guilt. “It’s probably your room key”  
Laica chuffs out a laugh and shakes his head.  
“I’m sorry” Minatsuki says softly, leaning his chin in his palm his hair curls on the table top. He’s talking about the drugs and the aloofness and complete lack of leadership he’s shown over the past few weeks.  
“Don’t be” Laica says instinctively. He reconsiders. “Actually, do be. They’re hard enough to control as it is. Don’t give them a reason to hate us.”  
“Us?” Minatsuki says, smirk soft and eyes half shut but he looks pleased. “So you have my back? Like my knight” He clips the words short.  
It sends a strange slightly pleasant shiver up Laica’s back.  
“We share a common goal” Laica shrugs, keeping an eye on Minatsuki’s face, mapping the subtle changes.  
“We share more than that” Minatsuki says softly, words slightly muffled by the side of his hand.  
Laica pauses and the soft jazz, still being played through the speakers, seems to make the moments stretch out. They- He- needs to stop doing this, pretending like he doesn’t care.  
“We do”  
“So do you want to come back to my room now I’m sober?” Minatsuki says.  
Laica raises his eyebrows and Minatsuki grins gently. “More sober than I was then” He corrects. “I’m rarely sober, Laica”  
“I know” Laica says with a desersive snort. “I worry about your liver”  
“I wouldn’t” Minatsuki says with a barely concealed yawn. It’s endearing.  
“You’re tired” He says. Minatsuki just nods.  
“But I don’t want to be alone” He murmurs and laughs at how stupid it sounds. “Sorry that’s the wine talking”  
“The 2 bottles” Laica says.  
“We shared the first” Minatsuki declares with a lopsided smile.  
“And the mini bar” Laica snaps his fingers. It’s so animated for him that he almost feels possessed.  
“I’ll admit the mini bar was a mistake” Minatsuki leans back, hands up in surrender. They pause until there smiles become quiet and fond.  
“Well, I’m off to bed” Minatsuki stands with a stretch that pulls his shirt up. “Thanks again for saving my life.”  
“Always my pleasure” Laica says calmly but it makes Minatsuki snort out an unattractive laugh Laica has never heard.  
He stands and the world moves 2 seconds behind him, he grabs the table before he falls. Minatsuki sweeps past him with a ridiculously amount of grace given how absolutely wasted he must be but turns on his heel when Laica doesn’t follow.  
“Oh my god” Minatsuki says. “You’re out your mind” He covers his mouth with a delicate hand.  
“I’m fine” Laica says but one look at Minatsuki’s shocked eyes and slack jaw has him chuckling. “Stop making that face”  
“What face?” Minatsuki is giggling now, cheeks flushed and hand on his chest as it turns to a wheeze.  
“That face!” He snaps with gasping breath, tears in the corners of his eyes and smile hurting his cheeks.  
Minatsuki watches him, still laughing himself and Laica realises with a shock that this is the most fun he can ever remember having. Minatsuki makes him so happy that his chest swells like it’s about to burst and he wonders how long he’s suppressed this, these feelings that make the world buzz and colour vivid. It will probably scare him in the morning but Minatsuki is looking at him expectantly.  
They make it to Minatsuki’s room and Laica leans against the wall as Minatsuki unlocks the door.  
“You said you were lonely” Laica says, tilting his head to look at him.  
“Exceedingly” Minatsuki says, smirk gentle but bitter. Laica’s eyes soften, gaze flickering over Minatsuki’s features. “I find them difficult, I worry they don’t respect me because you don’t respect me. It makes me want to ignore you but I...find I can’t do that either”  
Laica frowns, unsure how to respond. Minatsuki flicks on the lights, low and honeyed in the dead of night compared to the brightness of the hallway.  
“You think I don’t respect you?” He asks.  
“I know you don’t” Minatsuki tells him, eyes resigned and tired. “I don’t know what it is that you know that I don’t but I know you don’t respect me”  
“I don’t respect you” Laica admits and Minatsuki looks ready to say something but Laica keeps talking “Because I care too much”  
The open mouth interruption turns to a slow smirk. “You’re a hopeless romantic, Laica”  
“Say’s the man who got himself on the brink of death to get my attention” Laica stalks forward, the thought alone, of Minatsuki all blood stained and red eyed makes him reach out.  
“Well it worked” Minatsuki says, stepping back as Laica steps forward. “You’re here now”  
He lets a hand trail down Minatsuki’s shirt, spreading his fingers over the buttons. The thread count is high and it smells sharply clean. Minatsuki himself smells less clean, a strange mix of alcohol and near death that makes Laica’s nose curl.  
“Go shower” He says, the caress becoming a gentle pat as he stands away. Minatsuki’s eyes refocus and he blinks.  
The bathroom lights are harsh, bouncing off the mirror to make it brighter and it feels like spotlights. Minatsuki visibly winces and as Laica turns the shower on he watches out the corner of his eye as Minatsuki strips.  
“You’re soaking your shirt” Minatsuki says with a nod that acts as a pointer.  
“What?” Laica asks before realising he turned the shower on without pulling his hand back.  
“I should get you drunk more often” Minatsuki says, stepping under the spray but not bothering to pull the door shut. It’s one of those fancy glass boxes that makes it difficult not to see every angle of Minatsuki. It’ll steam up soon.  
“I’m not drunk-”  
“We’ll agree to disagree” Minatsuki says, voice bouncing around the bathroom in a muffled echo. He watches as Minatsuki washes his hair and follows the path of the suds down Minatsuki’s back. From behind like this he could be girl. His hips jut out and his long slender legs look model like in the ethereal glow of the steam. He almost reaches out but he doesn’t want to scare Minatsuki. He doesn’t know why but something about him he seems fragile, changed and broken. He’s vaguely aware, in the back of his mind, safely tucked away, that he’s done something awful, something that should make Minatsuki despise him but he can’t place it.  
“Why are you standing there?” Minatsuki asks, his voice oddly hoarse like he’s angry. “What are you so afraid off?”  
Laica tenses and strides forward, pinning Minatsuki’s hands beside his hand against the wall, the water plasters his shirt to him and turns the faux marble underfoot brown with dirt from his shoes but he doesn’t move back. Minatsuki doesn’t look shocked, like he hoped for, just tense from being pinned. Minatsuki swallows, aware at least how vulnerable he is, naked and trapped, feed skidding for purchase and Laica suddenly wants to pull back. He hates himself. He hates himself for somehow always managing to destroy whatever they have. No matter how many times Minatsuki reaches out, Laica always pushes him away. Maybe he is afraid, he’s afraid of Minatsuki’s power over him, he’s afraid of having fallen for the thing he created, he’s afraid because this isn’t a person he’s falling for, there is meat and bone and blood running through him but Minatsuki is substanceless. He’s not really real and the thought makes Laica’s blood run cold. Minatsuki is so open with him, so zealous in his trust of Laica. It breaks it heart to know that every conversation they’ve had Laica has lied about something.  
Minatsuki pulls his hands out from under Laica’s grip and begins to pull off his waist coat, proceeds with gentle fingers to undo the buttons of his shirt, the belt on his slacks and he drops to his knees to take off his shoes. It’s strangely reverential, Minatsuki bowed down like that, unaware of his own fate yet probably deeper in tune with it than Laica would like. He’s hard and Minatsuki is knelt at crotch height. It would take nothing to grip his hair, force his cock down that pretty throat until his head knocks back against the wall. Minatsuki looks like his ready for it too, eyes half shut as he trails patterns on Laica’s thighs, lips parted.  
“Stand up” It’s more commanding than he would have liked but Minatsuki obeys. He cards a hand through the strings of soaked hair now covering his face, black with water and drops to his own knees pinning Minatsuki’s thighs apart. Minatsuki’s trembling, weather with anticipation or exhaustion, Laica is unsure but he continues regardless. He trails a tongue up Minatsuki’s over sensitive, heated skin and watches as he sucks in a sharp breath. Minatsuki’s fingers tighten over on the steamed white wall, as he sucks in a breath. They’re both tense, still slightly too wary of one another to give the other full control.  
“I promise I won't hurt you” It’s an empty one, Laica realises, because he probably will but he lets the ‘you’ get swallowed around Minatsuki’s cock in a breathless whisper. Minatsuki cries out, body coiled tight with tension and Laica goes deeper, until his nose presses against the line of muscle from Minatsuki’s hip bone. He tilts his head a little to avoid the spray of the water and listens as Minatsuki’s breathless moans are eaten up by the sound of the water.  
“Oh gods- Laica-” He whispers, hand in Laica’s hair to try and balance himself. He sucks deeper and harder, faster even though Minatsuki can barely take it as it is. He’s coming apart at the seams, they both are. Laica is addicted to the power rush as Minatsuki struggles to stay upright, held only by Laica’s hands on his hips. It’s all too fast and too bright, with the heavy deep and visceral feel of Minatsuki’s cock down his throat, Laica feels like he’s never lived. The water, now in his eyes and his throat, burns in a strangely pleasant way. Like pleasing Minatsuki is somehow illicit, like everything wants to stop them. He wraps an hand around himself, moving his hand in time with the thrust of Minatsuki’s hips and light seems to swell around his eyes with the shock of the pleasure. It ends to soon, Minatsuki gives no warning before he cums and Laica almost chokes, hand stuttering on his own cock before he glances up to see Minatsuki’s face. His brows are knitted together, whole face pulled tight like he’s in pain but the blissful little upturn of his open mouth gives him away, breathes so deep the make his chest undulate. The water runs rivulets down his sculpted chest, stomach tense and trembling from the force. It pulls Laica over the edge and he places his head against Minatsuki hip to catch his breath.  
He feels how hard Minatsuki is shuddering and with a concerned huff he leans back against the glass wall. He lets Minatsuki fold over him, straddling across one of his thighs, hand balanced on his shoulder and head tucked in against his neck. His foot is bend up against the other side of the wall, unable to fully stretch out but relatively comfortable, he feels Minatsuki try to calm his breathing. He strokes his wet hair, bright blonde where it’s beginning to dry and a dark brown where it’s still soaked and without moving Minatsuki too much, leans up and switches off the shower. The water drips slowly in the quiet and Minatsuki moves his head out from Laica’s neck to stare at him. Their lips meet and slide over each other wetly. Minatsuki’s teeth hit his a little as their tongues delve and flutter over each other.  
“Ha” Minatsuki breaths out, mumbled and tired. “It’s cold”  
Their skin has cooled without the heat from the water and Laica nods in agreement. There movements are langid and uncoordinated as they stand. Minatsuki yawns again, wider and with a little shake of his head. He rubs his eyes and as he struggles to properly dry himself, Laica thinks he looks a little like a dozy kitten.  
“What?” Minatsuki says, soft with sleep as he dries his hair.  
“Nothing” Laica says, too tired to hide the full grin the splits his face.  
They both feel heavy and damp with sleepiness and heat but Minatsuki burrows happily under the covers, eyes shut and breath even before his head even really hits the pillow. Laica can’t blame him, he did almost die. He knows he can’t take this away from them now and maybe that’s a good thing. He doubts it will change them, not really, this has always been there, burning under the surface. Hell, it might even help them, maybe and if not, if it endangers everything then Laica isn’t afraid to take it away. He glances back at Minatsuki, eyes shut and lips parted and ignores how his stomach twists enough to make his toes curl.  
Maybe he is afraid to take it away but he’s more afraid to fail because then it would be for nothing. Killing that nameless boy back at Jaula Blanca to create this creature in bed beside him. He owes it to himself, the Minatsuki lying here, the icon he created as a perfect version of his ideals. He laughs out his nose, more of an annoyed snort because thinking about it like that it makes sense he would fall for him. A child's portrait of everything they want in themselves. He made Minatsuki to seduce him whether intentionally or not. 

‘Did you make me fall in love with you?’

The night seems to whisper and Laica doesn’t know where it comes from but he swallows and lies back, eyes fluttering shut. He has always been selfish. He didn’t make him fall in love, just made sure there were no other options. 

He should teach Minatsuki the difference between making and designing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the ending but I was half asleep by this point. I really love writing these two.


End file.
